Jonah and Co. Page 8

  CHAPTER VII

  HOW DAPHNE LOST HER BEDFELLOW, AND THE LINE OF LEAST RESISTANCE PROVEDIRRESISTIBLE.

  Order, so to speak, having been restored, and the path of love madestraight beyond all manner of doubt, we decided festively to make anexcursion to Spain. The fact that Piers could speak Spanish suggestedthat all the arrangements should be left in his hands. We embraced thesuggestion cordially. Then, at the eleventh hour, a courteouslyimperative wire from his solicitors had deprived us of our courier....

  The Duke of Padua had left Pau that evening, and all six of us had goneto the station to speed him to Paris and Rome. My cousin's farewell toher future husband had been ridiculously affecting. Polonius' adviceto his son was above rubies, but Jill's charge came pelting out of aneager heart.

  "Oh, and Piers darling, you will take care, won't you? And do wearwarm things. I'm sure it's still most awfully cold up there, and--andI don't know what men wear extra, but couldn't you put on a bodybelt?"

  "Binder, dear, binder," corrected Berry.

  "Well, binder, then. I remember Jonah saying----"

  "Never," said her brother.

  "Yes, you did. You said the great thing was to keep warm roundthe--er--round the hips."

  Berry looked round.

  "All women and children," he said, "will leave the Court."

  "Piers, you will, won't you? For my sake. Oh, and don't forget you'vegot to get some sock-suspenders, because your left one comes down. Andbe very careful crossing the streets. Wait till there's a gap--always.And don't drink the water, will you? Don't even use it for your teeth.Daphne won't."

  "That's right," said Berry. "Do as she does. Combine business withpleasure and clean them in a small Worthington."

  "Oh, and lock your door at night. Just in case. And, Piers darling, Ilove you very much, and--and God bless you, dear, and I shall just waitand wait for you to come back again."

  Hat in hand, Piers put her fingers to his lips.

  "Good-bye, Madonna."

  They kissed one another passionately.

  The next moment the train was moving, and the Duke swung himself on tothe step of the _wagon lit_.

  Jill began to trot by his side....

  When she could run no faster, my cousin gave up the attempt and stoodwaving her tiny handkerchief and then staring after the train.

  As we came up, she turned to us bravely.

  "I hope," she said shakily, "I hope he'll get on all right. He's sucha child," she added, knitting her pretty brow. "I wish to goodness wewere married. Then I could have gone with him." She stumbled, and Icaught her. She looked up at me with her grey eyes swimming. "I'veoften seen you off, Boy, but I wasn't silly like this."

  "It's a question of interest, darling. Piers is your very own pigeon."

  Jill wiped her eyes thoughtfully.

  "I suppose that's it," she said slowly. "My very own.... Boy, willyou take me to a tailor's? I want to get a binder."

  Ere we sat down to dinner that night, two stout body-belts had beendispatched to Paris by registered post.

  * * * * *

  "Satisfactorily," said Berry, restoring his napkin to his knees, "toconsume oxtail, one should be stripped to the waist."

  "That'll do," said Daphne.

  "As a rule," said her husband, "it will. Of course, for a reallycareless feeder, still further divestment may be desirable. Afterwardshe can be hosed. And now about Spain. Of course, without Piers totalk for us, we shall be mocked, misled, and generally stung to glory.But there you are. If you're landed with half a kingdom, I guess it'sup to you to take possession."

  "As at present arranged," said Jonah, "we start the day afterto-morrow, spend one night at Pampeluna, two at San Sebastian, and getback on Saturday."

  "One clear day," murmured Daphne. "I suppose that'll give us time."

  "What's there to do," said Adele, "besides packing?"

  "Not much," said Jonah. "The passports have been visa-ed, and that'sthe main thing. We must get some money at the bank--Spanish money, Imean--book rooms, run over the cars... I can't think of anything else."

  "We'd better take some insecticide," said Berry. "Spain's veryconservative."

  "Nonsense," said Daphne.

  "All right," said her husband. "Only, on the command 'Ter-rot,' don'twake me to inspect the bodyguard. Have we any castanets? And whatabout some sombreros? I mean, I want to do the thing properly."

  "Thanks," said his wife. "But if you're going in fancy dress, I'drather remain at Pau. I haven't forgotten our second Sunday here."

  "I shall always maintain," was the reply, "that I was suitably dressed.On the previous Sunday I had carefully studied the fashions upon theBoulevard, and I flatter myself that, had I been permitted to appear inpublic, my attire would have found immediate favour."

  "If," said I, "I remember aright, it consisted of a white bowler, amorning-coat, golf-breeches, blue silk stockings and cloth-toppedboots."

  "That's right," said Berry. "And an alpenstock. I ought really tohave had my cuffs trimmed with skunk," he added wistfully, "but Ithought of it too late."

  "I tell you what," said Adele. "We must take some films."

  "That's right," said Jill. "I promised Piers we'd send him somesnapshots."

  Jonah groaned.

  "Surely," he said, "our passport photographs are bad enough."

  "The camera," said Berry, "can never lie. Besides, I'm very fond ofyour passport portrait. I admit I hadn't previously noticed that yourright ear was so much the larger of the two, but the cast in your lefteye is very beautifully insisted upon. Mine, I must confess, is lesssuccessful. Had I been told that it was a study of the HonoraryTreasurer of the Splodgeworth Goose Club on bail, I should have held itan excellent likeness. Daphne's is very good. She's wearing thatparticularly sweet expression of hers. You can almost hear her saying,'Mine's a large port.' Apart, they're bad enough, but with both ofthem on the same document--well, why we weren't turned back at BoulogneI shall never know. Boy's, again, is lifelike."

  "Shame," said Adele. "He looks all bloated."

  "I know he does, sweetheart. But that's his own fault. What's put inthe mouth comes out in the flesh. The camera can never lie. And nowdon't choke. It's unmaidenly. And I cannot think of you as a matron.Let's see. Oh, yes. Films. Anything else?"

  "Soap," said Daphne.

  "Fountain-pen," said Jill.

  "Cards," said Adele.

  "Tea," said Daphne.

  "Beer-opener," said I.

  "Plate and linen," said Berry. "That's nine. Let's go by train."

  "Anybody," said Jonah, "would think that we were going into the bush.If you must have a camera--well, take one. But as for soap and tea andbeer-openers and fountain-pens--oh, you make me tired."

  "And me," said Berry unctuously. "A plain man of few words, all thisvulgar mouth-wash about creature comforts----"

  It was hardly to be expected that he would get any further....

  It was when the storm of indignation was at its height that theelectric light failed.

  Four of us breathed the same expletive simultaneously.

  Then--

  "Lost," said Berry's voice. "Two cheese-straws and a blob of Frenchmustard. Finder will be----" The crash of glass interrupted him."Don't move, Falcon, or you'll wreck the room. Besides, it'll soon bedawn. The nights are getting shorter every day."

  "Very good, sir," replied the butler.

  "They'll bring some candles in a minute," said Daphne.

  "What we really want," said my brother-in-law, "is a prismatic compass."

  "What for?" said Jill.

  "To take a bearing with. Then we should know where the port was, and Icould peel you a banana. Or would you rather suck it?"

  "Brute!" said Jill, shuddering. "Oh, why is the dark so horrid?"

  "The situation," said I, "calls for philosophy."

  "True," said Berry. "Now, similarly p
laced, what would Epicurus havedone?"

  "I think," said Adele, "he'd have continued his discourse, as ifnothing had happened."

  "Good girl," said Jonah. "Any more queries about Pampeluna?"

  "Yes," said my sister. "How exactly do we go?"

  "We go," said I, "to St. Jean-Pied-de-Port. There we get a permit totake the cars into Spain. Then we go over the mountains by Roncevaux.It's a wonderful drive, they say, but the very deuce of a climb.Pampeluna's about fifty kilometres from the top of the pass. If we getoff well, we ought to be there in time for tea."

  "Easily," said Jonah. "It's only a hundred and twenty miles."

  I shrugged my shoulders and resumed a surreptitious search for thechocolates.

  "I expect we shall strike some snow," I said.

  "Snow?" cried Jill.

  "Rather," said Berry. "And avalanches. The cars will be ropedtogether. Then, if one falls, it'll take the other with it. Willsomebody pass me the grape-tongs? I've found a walnut."

  "Why on earth," said Daphne, "don't they bring some candles? Falcon!"

  "Yes, madam?"

  "Try to find the door, and go and see what they're doing."

  "Very good, madam."

  With infinite care the butler emerged from the room. As the doorclosed--

  "And now," said Adele, "I can't bear it any longer. Where _are_ thechocolates?"

  "My dear," said my sister, "I've been feeling for the wretched thingsever since the light went out. Hasn't anybody got a match?"

  Nobody had a match.

  At length----

  "They can't have been put on the table," said Jill. "I've----"

  "Here they are," said Berry.

  "Where?"

  "Here. Give me your pretty white hand."

  "This isn't them," said Jill. "They're in---- Oh, you brute! You'vedone it on purpose."

  "I'm awfully sorry," said Berry. "I quite thought----"

  "You liar!" said Jill heatedly. "You did it on purpose. You know youdid. Daphne, he's gone and put my hand in the ginger."

  "It'll wear off, dear," said Berry. "It'll wear off. By the timePiers is back, you'll hardly know...."

  The apologetic entry of Falcon with two inches of candle upon a platecut short the prophecy.

  As he solemnly set the brand in the centre of the table, the lightreturned with a flash....

  It was when the butler had placed the wine before Berry and was aboutto withdraw, that Daphne asked for the chocolates.

  Falcon peered at the table.

  "They were there, madam," he said.

  Berry looked round uneasily.

  "I think, perhaps," he began stooping to feel under his chair, "Ithink--I mean, fearing lest in the confusion...."

  He broke off, to stare at a small silver bowl which was as bare as hishand.

  Daphne took a deep breath.

  "And that was full," she said witheringly. "And you sat there and letus feel all over the table, and pretended you were looking, and putJill's hand in the ginger, and all the time----"

  "I never ate one," said Berry. "I never...." He stopped short andlooked round the room. "Nobby!"

  The Sealyham emerged from beneath the table, wide-eyed, expectant.

  Sternly my brother-in-law held out the bowl.

  Never was guilt more plainly betrayed.

  The pricked ears fell flat: the bright brown eyes sank to the floor:the pert white tail was lowered incontinently. Nobby had hauled downhis flag.

  "Oh, Nobby!"

  The terrier squirmed, laid his head upon the ground, and then rolledover upon his back....

  "You can't blame the dog," said I. "Besides, he'll pay for it.Quarter of a pound of chocolates'll fairly----"

  "I've just remembered," said Daphne, "that they weren't chocolates atall. They were _marrons glaces_--the last of the bunch. They won'tmake any more this year."

  Berry wiped his forehead,

  "Are you saying this," he demanded, "to torment me? Or is it true?"

  "It's a C.B. fact."

  "But what about tea?" screamed her husband. "Tea without a _marronglace_ will be like--like Hell without the Prince of Darkness."

  "I can't help it. France has a close season for them."

  Berry hid his face in his hands.

  "Under my chair!" he wailed. "The last of the bunch (sic). And Inever ate one!"

  "Come, come," said I. "Similarly placed, what would Epicurus havedone?"

  "I know," said Adele.

  "What?" said Berry.

  My wife smiled.

  "He'd 've made tracks for Spain," she said.

  * * * * *

  The French sergeant saluted, Daphne nodded, Berry said, "Down witheverything," I touched my hat, and we rolled slowly over the littlebridge out of one country into another.

  Our reception was very serious.

  So far as our papers were concerned, the Spanish N.C.O. knew his joband did it with a soldierly, if somewhat trying, precision. Pong wasdiligently compared with the tale of his _triptyque_. Our faces wererespectively compared with the unflattering vignettes pasted upon ourpassports. The visas were deliberately inspected. Our certificateswere unfolded and scrutinised. Our travelling pass was digested. Toour great relief, however, he let the luggage go. We had nocontraband, but we were two hours late, and to displace and replacesecurely a trunk and a dressing-case upon the back of a coupe takesseveral minutes and necessitates considerable exertion of a veryunpleasant kind. Finally, having purchased a local permit for fivepesetas, we were suffered to proceed.

  We were now at the mouth of a gorge and the pass was before us. Hadthe gorge been a rift in the range, a road had been cut by the side ofthe torrent, and our way, if tortuous, had been as flat as your hand.But the gorge was a _cul de sac_--a beautiful blind alley, withmountains' flanks for walls. So the road had been made to scale oneside of the alley--to make its winding way as best it could, turningand twisting and doubling upon itself, up to a windy saddle which wecould hardly see.

  I gave the car its head, and we went at a wicked hill as a bull at agate.

  Almost immediately the scenery became superb.

  With every yard the walls of the gorge were drawing further apart,slowly revealing themselves in all their glory. Forests andwaterfalls, precipices and greenswards, grey lichened crags andsun-bathed terraces, up, above all, an exquisite vesture of snow,flawless and dazzling--these stood for beauty. All the wonder ofheight, the towering proportions of the place, the bewildering pitch ofthe sky--these stood for grandeur. An infinite serenity, animperturbable peace, a silence which the faint gush of springs servedto enrich--these stood for majesty. Nature has throne-rooms about theworld, and this was one of them.

  I started the engine again--for we had instinctively stopped--and Pongthrust on.

  Up, up, up we toiled, through the hanging village of Valcarlos, past along string of jingling mules, under stupendous porches of the livingrock, round hair-pin bends, by woods and coppices, over greybridges--wet and shining and all stuck with ferns--now looking forwardto the snow-bound ridge, now facing back to find the frontier villageshrunk to a white huddle of dots, the torrent to a winking thread ofsilver, and our late road to a slender straggling ribbon, absurdlyforeign, ridiculously remote.

  On we stormed, higher and higher, past boulders and poor trees wrungwith the wind, and presently up and into and over the snow, whileslowly, foot by foot, depth dragged height down to nothing.

  For the third time it occurred to me that the engine was unwarrantablyhot, and, after a moment's consideration, I took out the clutch andbrought the car to a standstill.

  "What is it?" said Daphne.

  "She's hot," said I. "Hotter than she should be. At least, I thinkso. Of course it's a deuce of a pull." And, with that, I opened thedoor.

  "You're not going to get out in this snow?"

  "Only a second, dear."

  Upon observing that the fan-belt was
broken, it was natural that Ishould regret very much that I had not looked for the trouble whenfirst I suspected its presence. Had I done so, I should have sparedthe engine, I should have been able to correct the disorder withoutburning myself to hell, and I should not have been standing, while Iworked, in four inches of snow.

  Gloomily I made my report.

  "I'm sorry," I concluded, "but I shall have to have Berry. I've got anew strap in the boot, but I can't shift the luggage alone."

  Berry closed his eyes and sank his chin upon his breast.

  "Go on, old chap," said Daphne. "I'm very sorry for you, but----"

  "I--I don't feel well," said Berry. "Besides, I haven't got mygum-boots."

  "Will you get out?" said his wife.

  At last, between us, we got him as far as the running board.

  "Come on," I said impatiently.

  "Don't rush me," said Berry, staring at the snow as if it were moltenlead. "Don't rush me. How fresh and beautiful it looks, does not it?"He took a deep breath and let himself down upon his toes. "A-A-ah! Ifyou can do sixty kilometres with a pound of snow in each shoe, how manymiles is that to the gallon?"

  The belt was at the very back of beyond, but I found it at last. As wereplaced the luggage--

  "And while," I said, "I'm fixing the strap, you might fill up theradiator."

  "What with?" said Berry.

  "Snow, of course. Just pick it up and shove it in."

  "'Just pick it up and sho----' Oh, give me strength," said Berrybrokenly. Then he raised his voice. "Daphne!"

  "What's the matter?"

  "I've got to pick up some snow now."

  "Well, rub your hands with it, dear--well. Then they won't getfrost-bitten."

  "You--er--you don't mind my picking it up, then? I mean, my left footis already gangrenous."

  "Well, rub that, too," called Daphne.

  "Thanks," said Berry grimly. "I think I'd rather wait for the dogs. Iexpect there are some at Roncevaux. In the pictures they used to havea barrel of whisky round their necks. The great thing was to be foundby about five dogs. Then you got five barrels. By the time the monksarrived, you were quite sorry to see them."

  "Will you go and fill up the radiator?" said I, unlocking thetool-box....

  The fitting of the new belt was a blasphemous business. My fingerswere cold and clumsy, and everything I touched was red-hot. However,at last it was done.

  As I was looking over the engine--

  "We'd better pull up a bit," said Berry. "I've used all the snow roundhere. Just a few feet, you know. That drift over there'll last me along time."

  "What d'you mean?" said I. "Isn't it full yet?"

  "Well, I thought it was just now, but it seems to go down. I've put inabout a hundredweight to date."

  An investigation of the phenomenon revealed the unpleasant truth thatthe radiator was leaking.

  I explained this to Berry.

  "I see," he said gravely. "I understand. In other words, for the lasttwenty minutes I have been at some pains to be introducing water intoan inconveniently shaped sieve?"

  "That," said I, "is the idea."

  "And, for all the good I've been doing, I might have been trying to eata lamb cutlet through a couple of straws?"

  "Oh, no. You've cooled her down. In fact..."

  It took five minutes and all the cajolery at my command to induce mybrother-in-law to continue his Danaidean task, until I had started theengine and we were ready to move.

  Then he whipped its cap on to the radiator and clambered into the car.

  I was extremely uneasy, and said as much.

  It was now a quarter to five. Pampeluna was some thirty miles away,and Heaven only knew what sort of country lay before us. We werenearly at the top of the pass, and, presumably, once we were over weshould strike a lot of "down hill." But if the leak became worse, andthere was much more collarwork....

  Desperately I put Pong along.

  The snow was deeper now and was affecting the steering. The wheels,too, were slipping constantly. I had to go very gingerly. Two deepfurrows ahead told of Ping's passage. I began to wonder how Adele,Jill, and Jonah were getting on....

  It was when the snow was perhaps a foot deep that we snarled past aruined cabin and, stumbling over the very top of the world, began todescend.

  Ten minutes later we came to Roncevaux. Where Abbey began or villageended, it was impossible to say, and there was no one to be seen. Theplace looked like a toy some baby giant had carried into the mountains,played with awhile, and then forgotten.

  Here was the last of the snow, so I crammed some more into theradiator, tried very hard to think I could see the water, and hoped forthe best. While I was doing this, Berry had closed the car--a wisemeasure, for, though we should lose a lot of scenery, the sun wassinking and Evening was laying her fingers upon the fine fresh air.

  Navarre seemed very handsome. It was, indeed, all mountains--bleaker,less intimate than France, but very, very grand. And the road wassplendidly laid: its long clean sweeps, its graceful curves, the way inwhich its line befitted the bold landscape, yet was presenting a styleof its own, argued a certain poetry in the hearts of its engineers.

  We swept through a village that might have been plucked out ofMacedonia, so rude and stricken it looked. There was no glass in thewindows: filth littered the naked street: pigs and poultry rushed forthe crazy doorways at our approach.

  Pampeluna being the nearest town, I realised with a shock what sort ofa night we should spend if we failed to get there.

  I began to hope very hard that there were no more hills. Presently theroad forked and we switched to the right. Maps and Guide declared thatthis was the better way.

  "What's _carretera accidentada_ mean?" said my sister, looking up fromthe Michelin Guide.

  "I think _carretera_ means 'road,'" said I. "As for_accidentada_--well, it's got an ugly sound."

  "Well, do look out," said Daphne. "We shall be there any minute. Thismust be Espinal, and that's where it begins."

  Berry cleared his throat.

  "The art of life," he announced, "is to be prepared. Should the caroverturn and it become necessary to ply me with cordial, just part mylips and continue to pour until I say 'When.' Should---- What are youstopping for?"

  "Very slightly to our rear," said I, "upon the right-hand side of theroad stands a water-trough. You may have noticed it."

  "I did," said Berry. "A particularly beautiful specimen of thepalaeolithic epoch. Shall we go on now?"

  "Supposing," said I relentlessly, "you plied the radiator. Just takethe cap off and continue to pour till I say 'When.'"

  "I should be charmed," was the reply. "Unfortunately I have no vesselwherewith to----"

  "Here you are," said Daphne, thrusting a hotwater bottle into his hand."What a mercy I forgot to pack it!"

  As I lighted a cigarette--

  "It is indeed," said I, "a godsend."

  With an awful look, Berry received the godsend and emerged from the car.

  After perhaps two minutes he reappeared.

  "No good," he said shortly. "The water's too hard or something. Thebrute won't look at it."

  "Nonsense," said Daphne.

  "All right," said her husband. "You go and tempt it. I'm through, Iam."

  "Squeeze the air out of it and hold it under the spout."

  "But I tell you----"

  I took out my watch.

  "In another half-hour," I said, "it'll be dark, and we've still fortykilometres----"

  Heavily Berry disappeared.

  When I next saw him he was filling the radiator from his hat....

  After six journeys he screwed on the cap and made a rush for the car.

  "But where's my bottle?" screamed Daphne.

  "I rejoice to say," replied Berry, slamming the door, "that full fathomfive the beggar lies."

  "You've never dropped----"

  "If it's any consolation," said Berry,
as I let in the clutch, "heperished in fair fight. The swine put about a bucket up each of mysleeves first, and then spat all over my head. Yes, it is funny, isn'tit? Never mind. Game to the last, he went down regurgitating like acouple of bath-rooms. And now I really am flea-bitten. I can't feelanything except my trunk."

  It was as well that we had taken in water, for very soon, to my dismay,we began to climb steadily...

  Once again we watered--Heaven knows how high up--at a hovel, half barn,half cottage, where a sturdy mother came lugging a great caldron beforewe had named our need. In all conscience, this was obvious enough.The smell of fiery metal was frightening me to death.

  Mercifully, that terrible ascent was the last.

  As the day was dying, we dropped down a long, long hill, round two orthree death-trap bends, and so, by gentle stages, on to a windyplain....

  It was half-past six when we ran into Pampeluna.

  After paying an entrance fee, we proceeded to the Grand Hotel. It wasintensely cold, and a wind cut like a knife. The streets were crowded,and we moved slowly, with the result that the eight urchins who decidedto mount the running-boards did so without difficulty. The four uponmy side watched Berry evict their fellows with all the gratification ofthe immune.

  "Little brutes," said Daphne. "Round to the left, Boy. That's right.Straight on. Look at that one. He's holding on by the lamp. Boy,can't you---- Now to the right.... Here we are."

  "Where?" said I, slowing up.

  "Here. On the right. That must be it, with the big doors."

  As I climbed out of the car, seven more boys alighted from the dickey,the wings, the luggage, and the spare wheels.

  A second later I found myself in a bank.

  The edifice appeared to be deserted, but after a moment or two anindividual came shuffling out of the shadows. My inability to speak aword of Spanish and his inability to speak a word of anything elsedisfavoured an intelligent conversation, but at last I elicited firstthat the Grand Hotel was next door, and secondly that it would not beopen until July.

  I imparted this pleasing information to the others.

  "Closed?" said Berry. "Well, that is nice. Yes. He's quite right.Here it is in the Guide. 'Open from July to October.' I suppose asuperman might have put it more plainly, but it's a pretty broad hint.And now what shall we do? Three months is rather long to wait,especially as we haven't had any tea. Shall we force an entry? Or goon to Madrid?"

  "Fool," said Daphne. "Get in, Boy. I'm getting hungry."

  I got in and started the engine.

  Then I got out again with a stick.

  This the seven boys, who had remounted, were not expecting.

  I got in again, feeling better....

  The second hotel we visited was admirably concealed.

  As we were passing it for the second time, Jonah came stepping acrossthe pavement.

  "Lucky for you we got in early," he said. "We've got the last tworooms. They're on the fourth floor, they're miles apart, they're eachabout the size of a minute, and I don't think the beds are aired. Thelift's out of order, there's no steam heat, and there are nofire-places. Both the bath-rooms have been let as bedrooms, and thegarage is conveniently situated about a mile and a half away. Theporter's cut his hand, so you'll have to carry up your luggage and helpme with ours. Nobody speaks anything but Spanish, but that doesn'tmatter as much as it might, because the waiters have struck. And nowlook sharp, or we shan't get any dinner."

  * * * * *

  _Bearer will bring you to where we are. Don't talk. Don't doanything. Just get into the car._

  _JONAH._

  I stared at the words stupidly.

  Then I looked at the chauffeur standing, hat in hand, and stepped intothe depths of a luxurious limousine.

  A moment later we were whipping over the cobbles.

  It was nearly half-past seven, and I had just walked back from thegarage where I had deposited Pong. Whether my instructions that theradiator was to be mended and the car to be washed had been understoodand would be executed, I was almost too tired to care. I was alsoabominably cold. The prospect of an evening and night attended withevery circumstance of discomfort was most depressing. For the fiftiethtime I was wishing that we had never come.

  And then at the door of the hotel I had been handed the message....

  There was a foot-warmer in the limousine and a voluminous fur-rug. Isettled myself contentedly. What it all meant, I had not the faintestidea. Enough that I was comfortable and was beginning to grow warm.My faith, moreover, in Jonah was profound.

  The car drew up with a rush before a mansion.

  As I stepped out, the chauffeur removed his hat, and the front door wasopened.

  I passed up the steps into the grateful shelter of a tremendous hall.

  At once my coat and hat were taken from me and I was reverently invitedto ascend the huge staircase. I did so in silence. At the top of theflight a waiting-woman received me and led the way.

  Everywhere luxury was in evidence. There were plenty of lights, butthey were all heavily shaded. So thick were the carpets that I couldhardly hear my own footfalls. The atmosphere was pleasantly warm andfull of the sweet scent of burning wood. What furniture I saw was veryhandsome. Three exquisite stalls, filched from some old cathedral,stood for a settle. A magnificent bronze loomed in a recess. At thehead of the stairs was glowing a great Canaletto.

  I followed my guide wonderingly....

  A moment later she stopped to knock upon a door.

  "Who is it?" cried Adele.

  I raised my voice, and she called to me to enter.

  I opened the door into the finest bedroom that I have ever seen.

  Upon the walls were panels of yellow silk, and all the silks and stuffswere grey or golden. A soft grey carpet, a deep sofa, a giantfour-poster, a mighty press, a pier-glass, chairs, mirrors,table-lamps--all were in beautiful taste. An open door in one corner,admitting the flash of tiles, promised a bath-room. On the bed mydress-clothes, which I had packed for San Sebastian, lay orderly. Andthere, upon a chair, in front of a blazing fire, sat Adele, lightlyclothed, looking extraordinarily girlish, and cheerfully inveigling astocking on to a small white foot.

  I looked round dazedly.

  "Isn't it priceless?" said Adele. "Isn't it all priceless?" Shedanced across the room and flung her arms round my neck. "And Ithought you were never coming. I wanted to wait for you, lad, but theywouldn't let me. But I've run a bath for you and put out all yourclothes. By the way, I can't find your links anywhere. Are yousure----"

  "No," I said, "I'm not. I'm not sure of anything. I'm not sure I'mawake. I'm not sure I'm alive. I'm not sure I'm not mad. 'Sure'? Idon't know the meaning of the word. What are you doing here? What amI doing here? Where are we? What's it all mean?"

  "My darling," said Adele, "I've not the faintest idea."

  "But----"

  "Listen. You hadn't been gone five minutes before a man came into thehotel and up to Jonah. He seemed very nervous and excited, but he wasvery polite. He couldn't speak a word of anything but Spanish, but atlast we gathered that he was asking us if we were the people who hadwired to the Grand Hotel. When we said that we were, he talked fasterthan ever, and at last we began to understand that he'd got some roomsfor us elsewhere. You can imagine our joy. Once we understood, hedidn't have to ask us whether we'd come. The next minute twochauffeurs were slinging the baggage on to a couple of cars, and, afterwe'd managed to explain that you were coming back, Berry paid some sortof a bill and we all pushed off. When we saw this wonderful house, wenearly fainted. As far as I can see, we've got it all to ourselves.Berry and Daphne are in another room like this, about two doors away,and Jill's between us. I don't know where Jonah is. I can onlyimagine that the man who came is the manager of the Grand Hotel, andthat this is where they put people when their own place is closed."

  Unsatisfactory as it was, this seemed, r
oughly, the only possibleexplanation. Indeed, but for the magnificence of our lodging, it wouldhave been reasonable enough. Still, we knew nothing of Spain. Perhapsthis was their idea of hospitality. I began to like Pampeluna verymuch....

  By the time I had had a hot bath I had begun to wonder whether it wasworth while going on to San Sebastian.

  * * * * *

  We had dined in state. We had eaten an eight-course dinner, superblycooked and admirably served. At the conclusion of our meal, foldingdoors had been opened, and we had passed into the shadowed comfort of agorgeous library, where only the ceaseless flicker of a great log firehad lighted us to deep-cushioned chairs and a rich sofa, where coffeeand liqueurs were set upon a low table and the broad flash of silvershowed a massive cigar-box reposing conveniently upon an ebony stool.

  With one consent, sitting at the feet of Epicurus, we had thrustuncertainty aside, and, thanking Heaven that we had fallen so magicallyupon our own, confined our conversation to the events of our journey,and compared enthusiastic notes regarding the wonders, entertainments,and perils of our drive.

  From behind a big cigar Berry was slowly enumerating the accessorieswithout which, to make life worth living, no car should ever take theroad, when the door opened and a servant, bearing a salver, entered theroom.

  Stopping for an instant to switch on the light, the man stepped to mybrother-in-law.

  For a moment Berry glanced at the card. Then--

  "English," he said. "'Mr. Hubert Weston Hallilay, 44 Calle de Serrano,Madrid.' Better have him in, hadn't we?" He turned to the servant andnodded. "Ask him to come in," he said.

  The servant bowed and withdrew.

  A moment later a fair-haired boy, perhaps twenty-three years old, wasushered into the room.

  He greeted us respectfully, but with an open-hearted delight which hemade no attempt to conceal.

  "How d'you do? I'm most awfully glad to see you. Officially, I'm hereby request. The comic mayor got hold of me. He's worried to deathbecause he can't converse with you. I don't suppose you mind, but it'sshortening his life. I've had a fearful time with him. There areabout a thousand things he wants to know, and he's commissioned me tofind them out without asking any questions. That, he says, would bemost rude. Unofficially, I'm--well, I'm at your service. If I'd knownyou were coming, I'd have been here before. I'm attached to Madrid,really, but I'm putting in six weeks here--for my sins."

  "You're very kind," said Berry. "Incidentally, you're a godsend--thesecond we've had to-day. The first, I may say, lies in five feet ofwater on a particularly blasted mountain-side. But don't bedisconcerted. We shouldn't think of drowning you. For one thing,you're much too valuable. And now sit down, and have some cold coffeeand a glass of kummel."

  As he sank into a seat--

  "Mr. Hallilay," said Daphne, twittering, "I can't bear it. _Why are wehere?_"

  The boy looked at her curiously. Then--

  "Well," he said, "there was no other place. Even if the Grand had beenopen, I gather it's hardly fit.... Of course there's been the mostawful mix-up. Trust Spain for that. The Post Office knew theycouldn't deliver the wire. Instead of telling somebody, orcommunicating with Pau, they let it lie in the office till thisafternoon. Then they took it to the mayor. Of course he nearly died.But, being a man of action, he got a move on. He flew round here andlaid the facts before the steward--the owner happens to be away--andarranged to put this house at your disposal. Then he rushed round,borrowed a couple of cars, and spent what time he had left splittinghis brain over your wire and hovering between the station and thevarious approaches to Pampeluna. As an inevitable result, he missedyou, and when he finally had the brain-wave of inquiring at the Grandand found you'd already arrived, he nearly shot himself."

  "But why--I mean," I stammered, "it's devilish good of the mayor andyou and everyone, but why--in the first place, why did the Post Officetake the wire to the mayor?"

  Hallilay raised his eyebrows.

  "Well," he said slowly, "when they saw the telegram, they realised----"

  "Who sent the wire?" said Berry.

  "I did," said Jonah. "I said,

  _Retenez lundi soir, deux grandes deux petites chambres avec salle debain en suite, arrive en auto._

  _MANSEL."_

  For a moment I thought the boy was going to faint. Then he covered hisface and began to shake with laughter....

  Presently he plucked a form from his pocket, unfolded it, and handed itto me.

  "That may have been what you sent," he said jerkily, "but here's howthe wire arrived."

  _Retenez lundi soir, deux grandes deux petites chambres avec salle debain, suite arrive en auto._

  _MANOEL._

  After I had read it aloud there was a long, long silence.

  At length--

  "I see," said Berry. "I knew our journey would be eventful, because mywife put her teeth in upside down this morning, but I little dreamed itwas to be a royal progress. However, I take it one of the things themayor would like to know is--er--what has become of--of----"

  Hallilay nodded tearfully.

  "That, sir," he said, "is the first and foremost question upon anunanswerable list."

  * * * * *

  We left Pampeluna upon the following afternoon, in response to a wirefrom San Sebastian peremptorily desiring us immediately to repair tothat resort.

  Hallilay, as good as his word, was of inestimable service. He had,indeed, dealt with the delicate situation with admirable judgment.Finally he covered our retreat in a masterly manner.

  From the first he had insisted that the _role_ we had unconsciouslyassumed must be deliberately maintained. Our scruples he had brushedto one side.

  "Whatever happens, Pampeluna must never know the truth. It'd be mostunpleasant for you--obviously. For the mayor--well, Spaniards are veryproud, and I think it'd kill him. Very well, then. Your course,plainly, is the line of least resistance. O friends, Romans,countrymen, it's--it's too easy." He broke off and glanced meaninglyabout him. "I'm not much of a diplomat, but--well, the best is goodenough for me."

  Talk about Epicurus....